Do you also feel alone, carrying the weight of the world on your shoulders?
You’re stuck.
- You’d love to be a great mom, but also not feel guilty or being judged for taking some time off
- You feel not organized enough because the list of things to do is so long that it just never gets done
- You experience a lot of stress, tension, and frustration every day. You’re trying to calm it down and create more peace in your mind and at your home but where to even start?
And more than anything else, you just want to be YOU again!
But that doesn’t seem possible, so you slip into the most ‘normal’ way to handle this: get stuck in your complaints…
My most usual complaints were:
- Blaming my husband who was not helping enough around the house and with our baby.
- My relatives for not offering to come over and help during the first weeks of her life.
- My daughter for not wanting to sleep without me, not even during the naps.
I complained about not having enough time to do it all.
And I felt like the martyr who gave up everything else that I loved to be a mom.
What about you? What do you usually complain about the most?
I asked other moms and I got answers similar to mine in the past…
- Not having enough time to do it all
- Not getting enough sleep
- Kids asking too much time & attention – and you feeling resentful.
The Ninja Move to Break Free
So now off to the ninja move to get out of this complaint trap. Are you ready?
What benefit does it bring me to hold on to these complaints?
Wait, what? Benefit? Are you not hearing me? None of this is my fault if you’re trying to blame me. I’m busting my a## off here, bloody doing my best. Are you trying to make me feel guilty now?…
That was my first automatic defense response. And it’s completely normal to feel this way.
On a second look, I had to admit though, that these complaints were indeed the easy way.
They enabled me to not take the responsibility for my part of the situation I felt trapped in.
Is it possible that complaining helps you avoid taking some action?
If you are really honest with yourself,
What is it that you CAN do about this situation?
And I know there might be voices coming up in your head now with more reasons why not… Just appreciate them for doing their best trying to protect you, ask them to sit down on the sideline and let you focus on answering the question. No matter how tiny your next step or action might be. Just a little tweak is more than enough.
Have it?
Tell me! I’m curious to hear from you!
And if you’re struggling with some persistent voices in your head pushing against this little exercise, let me know too.
Take care of yourself,
Alena
PS: Let me know what your most usual complaint has been – and how you benefited from it.